American fans are on the edge of their seats! (the rest of world really doesn't care about US soccer)
Germany (1) - United States (0) - Group G
With the US needing a tie to guarantee an R16 berth, stakes could not be higher for the USMNT. For Germany, it was basically just a tune-up. Even with a loss, US could qualify if they just kept it close and got some help from Portugal.
Are the Germans beatable? The consensus seems to be "no," certainly not by the Americans.
I asked a German why they tied Ghana in an earlier match, and he said simply "the heat." I have no idea how LeBron James and Dwayne Wade impact German footballers, but I'm sure T. Rowe Price will tell us in their next commercial.
US looked pretty lame, frankly. Germans outplayed us badly. We looked like a bunch of JV players against a Varsity squad.
After the Germans scored early in the
second half, they seemed content to possess the ball and occasionally press
forward, perhaps out of respect to Klinsman who Germans still hold in high
regard.
The highlight was a guy with a German flag
who ran onto the field in the 87th minute. No one minded. As he high-fived several German players, security just stood on the sidelines. Americans were happy to see clock wind down. Eventually, he got winded and headed towards the sideline where a security guard put his arm around him and thanked him for making the game interesting.
Despite the comments below, he wasn’t a streaker,
To quote: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/football/world-cup/10927193/USA-vs-Germany-World-Cup-2014-live.html
Delay. Oh I think a streaker has got on the pitch. We're not allowed to see it on TV because, you know, FIFA = Stalin etc and we might all get ideas and start, er, running from here to Brazil naked or something. Or maybe the guy's bum wasn't bearing an official sponsor's logo."
Despite getting their bums kicked, US backed those same butts into the R16. U-S-A! U-S-A!
Let's skip the next world war and work it out on the pitch, please. Peace out!
Portugal (2) - Ghana (1) - Group G
Holy haircuts! Ronaldo is now my favorite non-US player, because he shaved the side of his head and struck the game winner, knowing it would only guarantee a US berth. He gets a lot of crap as being a pretty-boy whiner, but he showed a lot of class and grit.
After the initial crushing loss to Germany, he had the assist on the equalizer in the 95th minute againts US. And playing in an essentially meaningless game, unless Portugal won by 5 or US lost badly, he still played til the end. And, damn, that guy has some footwork to go along with the nice hair.
Ghana, the US nemesis the previous two World Cups, also seemed anxious to help the US qualify. Their defender scored the most beautiful own-goal I've ever seen (bicycle kick off the post), and a late flub by the GK gave Ronaldo the easy finish.
Algeria (1) - Russia (1) - Group H
Algerians were delirious after they're tie secured H2 seed in R16. They will face (and get crushed by) Germany, but tonight we dance!
Belgium (1) - Korea (0) - Group H
It is said that war is God's way of teaching Americans world geography.
Let's hope that football gives Americans a peaceful reason to find Belgium on the map.
We'll meet (and beat!) them in R16.
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